Don The Adult Diaper

Adult nappies – don’t knock em till you’ve tried em

By  The Solution

Anyone wearing brown underwear today, or better still an adult nappy? Thanks to the fact I have not eaten for 24 hours due to nerves, and have nothing to excrete, I have not. What I am doing though is metaphorically shitting myself, which fortunately doesn’t smell, or stain anything.

Why am I so nervous? It isn’t just because we are playing a final, an elimination final no less, with our entire season and hopes resting on this one game. It is mainly because of how I think the game will play out. For I have one prediction for today, and one prediction only – it will be a close game. Nail-biting, stomach reaching up to your throat to strangle you with simultaneous panic and euphoria with each kick kind of close.

The reason? Sydney won’t score many goals, whether they win or no. They will play – or will seek to play – close and tight, in that typical arm-wrestling rolling maul style of anti-football we’ve all come to know and hate. That will not lend itself to a free-flowing game with a big margin. Don’t be fooled by a couple of 20 goal performances Sydney did rack up in the last month – those games were against vastly inferior opposition in Fremantle and Carlton, both in tank mode. It is a final, with the extra pressure that entails, on a small ground with constricted space. And hopefully the umpires butt out.

If Hooker was playing, I’d be confident. He is big, strong, and Sydney’s defense is already small, as Rusty pointed out earlier in the week. Now, I’m not so sure. If I had to put a percentage on it I kind of feel our chance of winning is 40/60. We must start well, take the game on, even the clearances, kick straight, and stop Buddy.

Sounds easy on paper, but of course it won’t be. We have nothing to lose, so Bombers, be bold! I’m excited, worried, nervous, and all of the above. This could be an historic day, and it goes our way, an epic night of celebration. I’m excited.



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